Profile

About me

Introduction

A-Girl has used social media to the point that she is no longer able to refer to herself in any way other than 3rd person. She has several children and step-children whose ages arbitrarly change based on who's had the last birthday. She is crazy in love with an Engineer, which makes for some complex situations as she is a former Art teacher and "Working Well Together," for them is just NOT an option. Their brains are not even in the same solar system-seriously, Mars and Venus are nowhere near far enough apart. A-Girl is swiftly approaching her 40th birthday and invites you along for the ride. She will attempt 1st person for the sake of all involved.

Interests

A-Girl has said many times before and shall continue to say, "THAT can NOT be an antique, I used to play with one JUST like it." A-Girl is an English Major reading about Quantum Mechanics. Seriously, there is smoke coming off the top of her head. A-Girl knows she has been to her Starbucks too many times when she goes through the DRIVE THROUGH and they hand her a cappuccino with her name on the cup. A-Girl wonders if she is the only one who is a little freaked out by the guy driving the ice cream truck. That music, his white, dirty wife-beater, the way that grungy van just crawls through the neighborhood, enticing kids to leave home, the small white packages exchanged hurriedly for money....or, maybe, she's seen one too many X-Files. :)

Yep, It's Been a Year

And, what a year it's been. A lot has happened.

So far, I've LOVED 40.  35 tried to kill me but 40 and I not only made friends but we've often "played well" together.

Seeing as how I will be ( <glances down at clock on computer> oh, good gawd! I'm ALREADY) 41, soon. Let me tell you that the most amazing and excruciatingly HARD thing that we've done during my 40th year of life was to begin proceedings to adopt a little girl from China. We're waiting (and waiting and waiting) on LOA. Yes, adoption comes with a lingo all it's own -one that I can't remember most of the time. International adoption is a vast crazy-making basket of rules and weird regulations and complicated processes that go by initials, often written all in CAPS, and... <sigh>.

Anyway, if you're just dying to find out what LOA means OR you're one of the very sweet people from our local Families with Chinese Children group who have been NAGGING (not really, but they did put me "over the top" about starting this blog) us to start an adoption blog so that you can live vicariously through us (and laugh AT us as we revisit the same mistakes that you made while in China) as we finish up this LONG process and finally head to China to pick up our precious bundle OR you're a friend/family member from social media/real life who has not gotten WAY tired (really?) of hearing me GO ON about this process...then join me over at Listening for Lyric to continue the fun. (Seriously, I've BEEN 40, this blog has to die.)

My 41st birthday cake. Yuuuuum!
(The morning of my birthday party K-Man told me,
"Wow. I know DIRT younger than you."
He may have to die, as well.)

PS I'll have to change the "About Me" which will change it on this page, also (yeah, can't figure out how NOT to do that) and become really confusing for anyone who does not join us at the new address. You were warned.

Living Past 40: An Update

So, I'm sitting here and I'm in awe.

 If you remember or even care (wait, if you didn't care, you wouldn't be reading this...never mind...) the whole reason for this blog was to celebrate my upcoming 40th birthday. And, I missed it. My immune system totally rebelled and I missed the 40th birthday party celebration with my bro-in-law and sis-in-law that I wasn't supposed to know about.

I had:
the Flu
Pnumonia
a Sinus infection
Bronchitis

The kids and my hubby had:
Mystery Illness a la Wild Child
Ear infection
Strep throat

AT THE SAME TIME!

Seriously, like, every time one of us came back from the doctor, we just added a new illness to the list, nobody ever had the same thing, we just kept getting new stuff. It was a smorgasbord of toilet tissue and snot and

"What are you doing? 
You can't take a nap! 
I need HELP!!!"

We all felt awful!

At one point we were at the pediatrician's begging,

"Where can I hire a nurse? I've got to get SOME SLEEP!!!!"

My kids' doctor sent me upstairs to a "grown-up" docotor because he said that I looked so bad that, if it was up to him, he'd put me in the  hospital. Yeah, it seriously sucked.

My hubby missed TWO WEEKS of work and I'm still sorta discombobulated - 3 months later, I still just can't get my focus or my energy back.

My hubby finally, after we were all well, gave up and took me out to eat with some friends to celebrate my birthday...two months too late. It was fun.

BestBarnFriend and me and our families.

And then, he tells me: he's been trying to surprise me for TWO months. He's set and reset the date over and over. First we got sick and then the worst tornadoes since before 1974 wiped out our home area in North Alabama (it's still bad -even if the national media has gotten bored and moved on -DONATE now to the Red Cross). The poor man could not win for losing.

Today, I went to my hubby's email account (okay, I'm  not snooping, we need an email and it was lost in the VAST cyber No Man's Land that is my husband's email -seriously you could hide a Buick in there.)

("You could hide a Buick..." no, that doesn't date me AT ALL  <sarcasm> :) )

And, I found SOME of the birthday emails that he has been sending out to my friends and family since early February.



"Cantankerousness and orneriness," me? Really? :)



This is a man who just does not "do" social. And he did it over and over and over...for me. He'd compiled lists of  hotels for people to stay in, he'd sent out email after email after email (and the man HATES email, hence the No Man's Land mentioned earlier.) He kept secrets from me and he does not keep secrets from me. He bent over backwards and then bent further. And, he tells me that it's not just him - our family and friends did this, too. They made plans and canceled them and remade them- and most of these people were going to have to drive about 4 hours to get here- my 1st cousin/sis-in-law/friend made TWO cakes (it was supposedly delicious, they ate it while counting the trees that were on their house -FIVE!!!- and thanking God for their safety.) Our kids were coming.  Wow!

They said it was "the best cake she's ever made."
"Red velvet with cream cheese filling and frosting...with black buttercream fondant on top."
 My mouth waters.

In the words of my mother-in-law,

"Feb.23, Mar. 12, Mar. 19, or April 30

...the changing days of your surprise party. "

People all around me, unbeknownst to me, were stretching themselves out beyond what is reasonable to give me not one party but SEVERAL.

And, K-Man is still apologizing that he couldn't pull it off.

"But we were so sick and then the tornadoes hit..."

Seriously????? Oh, man! He never gets the words out before I'm hugging him.

"Babe, you just can't fight Mother Nature."

 I feel like an incredibly loved middle-aged woman.

What a way to start "40."

Thanks to y'all, you know who you are!

And then, there were those folks who did make it to my "Birthday in April" week (none of them came just for the "April Birthday,"  but how cool that they did get here (!):

I hadn't seen These People (love, love, love them) IN YEARS
and they ended up coming to our house for a couple of nights...

...and bringing this painting. Their daughter, a former art student of mine
(and a member of the Favorite Person Club,) painted it
and sent it to me for my 40th birthday present.

This is Oldest Child, he came the day that These People left and spent his 16th birthday with me.

This is Step-son. He came the day that Oldest Son
 left and ended up at my "Birthday Party in April."

40 is turning out to be epic in very unexpected ways!

(And, my hubby ROCKS!!!)

“Elvis Has Left the Building.”

Hey! What are you still doing here?

No, really!  I turned 40, the show is over (perhaps we could consider doing a “Reunion Tour” right before “50.” hahahaha Wouldn’t that be a hoot!)

MMMMMMMAAAAA! Hugs and kisses to you, tell your momma and them, I said “Hi.”

See you soon!

Now, run on home, go on, git!

(Lock the door behind you. And, make sure the cats don’t get out!)

Bye, now!

The Last One

"Happy Happy Birthday, to Me, to Me to Me!"

Well, I did it. I've written 54 of these things, counting this one. I am proud of myself. Writing twice a week for 6 months, compiling it into something readable by other people and then actually getting up the guts to POST it was not a small thing.  Yay, me!

I’ve learned some stuff, too.

I’m anal about my writing, I already knew this but I kept catching myself going back to posts that I knew people had stopped reading and correcting some minute error. (Who am I kidding? I go back and correct posts on Facebook all the time.)

I am surprised at the top ten posts - yep, Blogspot kept up with it for me. I don’t know who read what but I do have a general idea of how many times a certain post was read. I think a certain percentage of that is me going back to reread and edit but it wasn’t ALL me. :)

By far, the most read post was:

• Favorite True Story:

followed by:

• Halloween, THANKSGIVING and Then, Christmas
• "...Smell My Feet..."
• Stream of Consciousness About the Day
• 4,5,6,40?
• Sedona, Arizona
• "Hey Slick! She's a Hick!"
• 350 - It Ain't Just a Number on the Oven Dial
• Hmmmm, It Won't Come Off
• You Want Me to Put WHAT in That Cup?

I had readers from NINE other countries besides the US, from as far away as Denmark, Croatia, India. I had one in Turkey too, but she's a hometown girl! :) Hi, sweets!
I had 1,877 page views. That's way cool.

I’ve discovered something else while doing this writing “experiment:” I suck at knowing what people will respond to. Seriously, when I wrote a post, I’d think, Okay, is this true to how I feel? Yep? Good. But I was always surprised at what people reacted to. I’d write a post and think, Let’s see what people say to THAT! and not so much. Nah. Then, I’d write one and wonder if I should even post it and THAT would be the one that I’d get tons of feedback on. It always left me with the feeling of <shrugs shoulders> Who knew? Things that people found funny, that was always a Really? moment, too. I’d think something was mildly amusing and people would be saying, “Oh, I am laughing so hard,” and then I’d post something that I thought was just hysterical and, again, not so much.

Hmmmmmm. Hmmmmm. Hmmmmm Yeah, I got nothing on that.

One thing that I do know, from years of writing stuff, is that people don’t always tell you when something really affects them. I don’t know if they just expect you to know ("she wrote it, she must know it’s good, right?") or if they just don’t know what to say. But, I’ve always been surprised when someone comes up to me and says,

“What you said in that post, yeah, that one, 

it was soooo good. 

I mean it, really, 

I thought about it for days, afterward.”  

Wow.

I’ve learned not to sit around and worry about feedback. It is just NOT a good indication of anything. Well, that’s a lie, I do worry about feedback, it’s just not so hard to put it in it’s proper place inside my head.

Each day, let God whisper the truth of who you are 

and who you are in your heart and mind. 

Filter the opinions of others through the reality that just because they think it-doesn't make it true. Be brave enough to see negative feedback as a possible call to action but not a definition of your identity. And while you enjoy the positive feedback refuse to be bloated by it. -Lysa Terkeurst

What you read on my blog is really just a compilation of "Here's where I've been," which may not be a really accurate depiction of where I am now.

Since I started this journey of "healing" I've sorta realized that up until my early 30s was about surviving, the rest of my 30s was about healing and my 40s ???? are a wide open book.

I'm sorta excited.

But this has been my swan-song.

Here's where I've been, 

here's where I'm going 

and how I'm getting there. 

It's just part of the final step into the next place. I write, that's how I process. Whether or not it was a good idea to write publicly, I don't know. But there is this need to have a "voice," that what I say and what I've been through matters. A voice that will become quieter, maybe, after this process (it could get LOUDER, who knows.)

And, it's been good for me to have taken this risk. I've always been so afraid to make a mistake that I become rigidly still. This may have been a mistake. Mistakes are part of life. It's time I embraced them. 40 has been my mark. Whole-er is my goal.

"It takes courage to grow up 

and turn out to be who you really are." 

- E.E. Cummings

I once saw a book with the title, Turning 50, Lessons at the Half-Way Point. I am sure it’s a great book and I get what they are trying to say but I just can not get past the need to say, “Gonna live to be 100? That’s a little hopeful, don’t ya think?” At 40, I am already more than half-way to the age where the average American dies. In fact, if the average life expectancy is 78, then I reached the half-way point last year. I am a full year too late writing this blog, which brings me to my next point:

This is life, life is terminal. Grasp that, accept that and the whole thing just gets a whole lot easier and much more precious.

"In the long run, we shape our lives, 
and we shape ourselves. 

The process never ends until we die. 

And the choices we make 

are ultimately our own responsibility."  

-Eleanor Roosevelt

There are more adventures left for me just over the horizon, they shine like new pennies in the morning sun and I can’t wait to get there. Don’t just stand there watching the ass-end of my horse as it gallops off into the sunrise, wishing you had the guts to greet tomorrow with a smile on your face - you might as well charge at it with a smile on your face because it’s coming whether or not you want it to and whether or not you feel “ready.”  I promise it won’t always be easy but it’s so worth it.  Come with me into the great Unknown!

Seriously, just lean back, find your balance point and enjoy the ride!

"May your coming year(s) be filled with 

magic and dreams and good madness. 

I hope you read some fine books 

and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, 

and don't forget to make some art 

- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. 

And I hope, somewhere in the next year(s), 

you surprise yourself." 

-Neil Gaiman

It's been fun, thanks for hanging out with me 'till the end, or... the beginning. :)

You Want Me to Put WHAT in That Cup?

I pulled out of the driveway at 2am early this morning and pulled back in, 8 hours later, at 10:15am.  After two bags of IV fluids, a chest x-ray, blood work, a breathing treatment and an EKG, I was told,

“Everything came back normal except that flu test which popped up positive. Go home and lie on your butt until the end of the weekend. There’s not much else we can do.”   

My doctor also looked at me, at one point, and said,

“You don’t look like you’re about to turn forty.”

I guess I should feel flattered. Not so much. I’d take a lot less snot and fewer body aches NOT to have heard those charming words. <sigh> I am sick. Seriously mucho sicko!

I am also disappointed.  I don’t know what K-Man had planned for my birthday but it was a surprise something that included my brother-in-law and my sister-in-law/friend/first-cousin  (yes, she's all those things, it's seriously old-school weird South, I know) coming to my house all the way from Alabama to bring me one of her fabulous signature cakes. <sigh>  I was looking so forward to it. I’ve spent months looking forward to it.

Forty only comes around once and I’m going to be fighting off a virus right when I should be celebrating. We have to tell them. I can not let them run the risk of catching this dreaded and nasty flu. This is crappy. I have visions of not telling them, of just letting them show-up and I’ll attempt “Fun A-Girl,” while feeling like “Yucky A-Girl,” but that would be a lot like yelling out,


         “Surprise, it’s my birthday! And, for my birthday I’m giving you...the flu!!!”

Can’t do it. <sigh>  Looks like this blog (as well as my 40th) is gonna end with a whimper instead of a roar.

UGH!!!

Only a Matter of Time

It finally happened.

Last week, LITERALLY, I looked at my watch and couldn't see the numbers. I haven’t been able to see the date for some time but it wasn't enough to break me out of my denial.

“I do NOT have 40 year old eyes!” 

The words in the books that I've been reading have suddenly shrunk. I'm doing that yo-yo thing with papers that I need to read. Is it clearer here or there? I'm sorta like the old gal version of the "can you hear me now?" guy, only I can't see.  Recently, I was having a conversation with my hairdresser about gettin’ old and she commented,

“The eye thing is real. I woke up one morning and couldn't see to read anything and so I went to the eye doctor who examined me, leaned back and asked, 'So, when did you turn 40?”  

My hairdresser smiled and said,

“I told him, ‘My birthday was two weeks ago!”

When I was in kindergarten it was an election year and on voting day they held a fake election for our little class of 5 year olds. I didn't understand what we were doing at all so I copied the little girl  next to me who circled the name of “Ford,” on her paper. When the numbers were counted in my kindergarten class someone named, “Carter,” had won.

When I got home, my mom was sitting and, very uncharacteristically, watching the Tv, she asked me what had happened during my day.  The way I remember it, she didn’t even look up from her chair, I told her,“I voted for Ford but he didn't win.”  She said, sadly,
“Me too.”

“The Iran Crisis: An America Held Hostage.” 

I remember the yellow ribbons. I remember the newscasts on Tv . I remember the confusion in my little girl head. I remember the general great dislike for Carter as his presidency went on and I remember in high school my history teacher saying that she thought that Carter would be remembered much more positively than he was portrayed as president. Tonight, I’m watching a program on Georgia Public Broadcasting about Jimmy Carter and beginning to put the pieces together between what I remember and what history tells me as an adult. As a president he might have been shaky but, as a man:

In 2002, President Carter received the Nobel Peace Prize for his work "to find peaceful solutions to international conflicts, to advance democracy and human rights, and to promote economic and social development" through The Carter Center. Three sitting presidents, Theodore Roosevelt, Woodrow Wilson and Barack Obama, have received the prize; Carter is unique in receiving the award for his actions after leaving the presidency. He is, along with Martin Luther King, Jr., one of only two native Georgians to receive the Nobel. -Wikipedia, "Jimmy Carter"

40 - I’m starting to lose those things that defined me as “young” but I’m beginning to gain perspective. I've lived long enough to see how stuff plays out. Life isn't so much about “wait and see,” anymore as it is about “this is what I've seen” and that makes me more patient for “tomorrow.” I’ve realized that life happens in stages and that, even though there are times when I don’t understand, Time brings understanding.

And, that is a cool thing.