It’s Just a Number, Right? RIGHT?!

Can someone answer this question for me? No, please I really mean it…what the hell happened? Where did the time go?  I will be FORTY in almost exactly  6 months, give or take a few weeks. F.O.R.T.Y. Let me say that again in case you missed it the first time…FOOOOOORDEEEEEEEE.

My husband says that the rule for guys dating younger women is to divide the guys age in half and add 7. So, a forty year old guy could, theoretically, date a 27 year old  woman without too much guilt, he is, after all, following the much coveted “rule” about dating younger women. Which leaves me with a few questions, well actually A LOT of questions, but let‘s just hit the high points:

1) Who in six stages of Hades made up this ridiculous rule?  (Ok, only two real questions.)  2) WHEN is he planning on leaving me for the younger, much more plastic version of me?  (She better not be fertile,  I KNOW he can’t afford any more kids, I’m just sayin.’ :) )

So, apparently, according to my wise husband, who would not even entertain the notion of “Cougar,”  this rule does not apply in reverse. I, as an old, worn down, haggard, 40ish woman can not hope to reach backward in time for my own ascot wearing Ken doll. I must be happy with that guy who is twice my age, add 7, which brings me back to my point. My guy would be 64. Sixty-four.  DearHusband, K-Man, gets the 27 year old Victoria Secret’s model, I get Sylvester Stallone (the real one, not the guy who spends two hours in a make-up chair) on a bad day…and waaaaay past the “Rocky”  years.

“When you're in your 20s, you have no idea what the hell's going on or who you are or how the world works. Wisdom is really underrated. We are obsessed with youth, with physical youth, what we look like, and what happens to our bodies as we get older. We forget what happens to our souls, our minds, and our actual human experience. “-Cameron Diaz