4,5,6,40?

“Momma, my birthday is next.”
“Uh-huh.”
“I will be five.”
“Yes, Baby you will be 5.”
“Whose birthday is next, after my birthday, Momma?”
“Well, Baby. Mine. My birthday comes next.”
“How old will you be Momma? 6? Will you be 6?”

Um, no.

<giggle> "No, Baby. I’ll be 40.”
“How old are you now?’
“I’m 39.”
Silence. “Uh-huh.”

Hahahahaha

I, too, remember the unfathomable ages that my parents were when I was a kid. How do you wrap your brain around “40,” when you’re 5 (or even, 16?) 40 is literally 8 times as old as a five-year-old. It would be like me trying to wrap my brain around being 320. I have a hard enough time wrapping my brain around "50" at this point. Speaking of, according to Yahoo News,

“Stars who turned 50 in 2010,” are:

Julianne Moore
Daryl Hannah
Hugh Grant
Colin Firth
Jane Lynch                  
Bono
Michael Stipe
David Duchovny
Antonio Banderas
Valerie Bertinelli
Sean Penn
James Spader

Yeah, I know. NO FREAKING WAY!

(And, I remember my mom catching sight of an aging star on Tv and exclaiming, "He's looking so old!" I had a few of those moments, myself, looking at the pics that went with this list.)

The look on Oldest Child’s face when I told him, a few years ago, that I remembered when there were no CD players or microwaves was priceless. He was astonished. (You should have seen his face when he asked what you did if you broke down on the side of the road before cell phones and I answered, "You WALKED to the next exit and prayed that they had a working phone and that you could find a quarter to use it." The look on his face that time was...well, his mouth fell open. <giggle>)

Today, I perused People’s "Sexiest" issue and knew NO ONE in the age group,“20s and 30s.” (I didn’t recognize anyone until I got to the “40s and 50s.”)

Who ARE these people?

I didn't recognize a single face and the only celebrities whom I knew are ... beginning to play the mothers and fathers of the stars of recent movies.  I blinked and suddenly my peeps have been regulated to background characters?   I’m serious, watching a movie for me, now, is a plethora of hearing myself asking desperately,

“Who is THAT?”  

Don’t even get me started on music. I’m serious, don’t get me started.
I can’t even pronounce some of these acts.
Kei$ha? How do you say, “$” ????
Her name is, “ Kei-dollar sign-ha?”

(All I know is Oldest Son was aghast that I had one of her songs on my phone,

“Mom, she’s a slut! 

My mom listens to ‘slut-music!’ 

I can’t stand it!”) 

And, who in the world is  “Flo Rida?”
Seriously, the guy calls himself “ Florida?”
His name is a state?
That’s it!
From now on, I shall be known as “Al A. Bama.”

I had to Google “Justin Bieber” (my husband just informed me that he was SURE that his name was "Justin BEAVER" hahahahaha)  just to figure out how to spell the little (yes, he is little) dude's name. Apparently, there is some language associated with being his fan?

( http://www.fanpop.com/spots/justin-bieber/forum/post/65941/title/bieber-language)

But before I shake my head and get too cocky I remember Donny Osmond and his purple socks. Surely, this kid is not as corny as that. Right? Right???

I have definitely entered the Twilight Zone World of Middle Age. Every time my husband shakes his head and makes some comment on how kids are so stupid today, I respond,

“Honey, I KNOW. 

But we think that because we are old fogies. 

Did you just hear the comment 

that came out of your mouth?? 

Yep, old, old, old. 
Personally, I would say it's 'cause 
we finally got smart but everybody else 
would say 'old,old,old.”

My grandfather suddenly seems so much smarter to me.

Seriously, it's been around for a while but WHO thinks jeans worn down below your butt is COOL?

(I came around the corner of my truck, not that long ago at the car wash, and found myself face to,well, face with the boxer clad butt of a teenage guy bent over vacuuming out his car. I could just about see his cheeks jiggling underneath that pitiful excuse for fabric. I couldn't help it, I stopped and stared, at that, and at his jeans which were hanging on for dear life right around his upper thighs. I wanted to shout out,

 "You DO know that that belt ain't doin' much good, right?"  

I looked up in time to see his mom staring at me over his head. She gave me a look that said, 

"I know! I know! STUPID! He takes after his DAD!" hahahahaha)

I hate to tell you, we would have. We would have thought it was cool.

Aren't we the same generation who actually went to school (when we could get around our totally shocked moms) in “underwear”  worn as “outerwear”  ala’ Cyndi Lauper and Madonna?

Yeah, the only difference between “us and them” is about 20 years.

It’s just that I am so much smarter, now, and they are so much more stupid. :)

The young always have the same problem

-how to rebel and conform at the same time. 

They have now solved this by 

defying their elders and copying one another. 

-Quentin Crisp