“Damn it, Jim…!”

We have previously discussed my love of all things sci-fi which just so happens to be rooted in an early viewing of Star Wars. What we have not talked about is my love of Star Trek.

"Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before." <cue 60’s surreal “futuristic” music>

I, however, am not a true Trekkie, you’ll never catch me in costume -nope, not even one of those “sexy” green-girl ones, no way, NUH-UH -  and I have absolutely no interest in learning to speak or, even, understanding Klingon. In fact, I would prefer not to be in the same room with someone who is attempting to speak Klingon (why, oh why, oh why - a thousand times, why?)

The only Star Trek that qualifies as true Star Trek, in my mind, are the original seasons. (According to Wikipedia, “The Guinness World Records lists the original Star Trek as having the largest number of spin-offs among all TV series in history.”) It's not that I don't like the other Star Trek spin-offs, it's just that the first one is in a league of it's own.

Oh, my! This isn’t even really sci-fi, this is comedy. Campy. Campy. Campy.

“Sp-AHHHH-ck!” hahahahaha

Could they all roll around that bridge any less convincingly?

You don’t have to watch too many of these shows to pick up on something - no one wants to be Ensign Ricky (or Ensign Whomever, the names change, the plot does not.) The conversations usually go a little like this:

“Something horrible has happened on the planet down below, we must have every senior officer to the transporter NOW…oh yeah and you, Ensign Ricky.” 

At this point, I am literally screaming at the Tv,

“Don’t do it! No! Ensign Ricky! It’s a trap, you will be eaten!” 

We won’t even talk about what asine set-up would call for ALL the senior officers to put themselves into harm’s way AT THE SAME TIME.

What am I saying?
As long as they’ve got an Ensign Ricky, they’re cool.
What have they got to worry about?
30 minutes of being chased by that lump of pizza-goo covered in felt, a couple of really bad acting moments by William Shatner and then a horribly predictable fall into the path of  Pizza-Goo by Ensign Ricky and all’s well in the end. (If they should get hurt in some manner, there’s always Bones to point his little plastic medical “brick” at them and come up with exactly what must be done to save the day.)

(Speaking of William Shatner-could any one in Hollywood have played his cards so well? He was a joke- a washed-up, no good (literally), ego-maniac running around Hollywood scaring old women and driving his former co-workers crazy. And, you know what he did? He’s made a ton of money playing exactly that on Tv. He’s turned crap pie into delicious dessert by making fun of himself. Now, he comes across as a funny, wacky, almost warm guy.  It’s enough to make you rethink your whole opinion of him. Or, he’s just got a really shrewd agent- regardless, at least, he had enough sense to listen to said shrewd agent.)

Sometimes, I feel like the Ensign Ricky in my own damn life. I should soooo listen to that strange voice coming from “out there,”

“Don’t do it! Nooooooo!” 

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I crack myself up.

(“Pizza-goo covered in felt” design guy. I SO want that job!)